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How Often Can You Have Sex?

How Often Can You Have Sex?

Unhappy Sexual Life Royalty Free Stock PhotosUnhappy couple with test Stock Images


Asking “How Often Can You Have Sex?” by a man or a woman or both, usually indicates a reasonable intimate relationship is being well established. They would like to have a one-to-one relation, at least, for a while since they most likely have enjoyed their relationship, especially in the way how they have sexual intercourse. In other words, they have conquered the hump of courtship, they enjoyed the spiritual and physical pleasure and gratification through intercourse, and they want more and more but to the verge of total submergence and even to the point of overindulgence and obsession.

As a result, they might encounter, at times, less satisfaction than what they would like to enjoy. That is the time to raise the question of “How Often Can You Have Sex?

This question has posed a huge room for endless discussion and debate since the day one of human life. Despite such, hereinbelow I would like to share my summary on this topic for you according to my personal and professional lifelong observation, analysis, study, perception, and practice as a human of 73 years as you are and as a urologist of 46 years in serving thousands of persons – as young as a newborn up to as old as one at 101of age, males or females. I am sure you already have formed your version of the answer to this very question.

But wait. After perusing this article, you can decide what might make sense to your life – sex life.

Before I give you my answer, let us go through some generally known facts and truth of life – at least in my world of living and thinking.

  1. The long-term goal of life is to look nicer, feel better, and last longer.
  2. The short-term goal of life is to capture and secure the sense of comfort and control from moment to moment from succeeding in what we would need to do for daily chores and tasks.
  3. The mechanism to achieve a long happy life is to practice quality healthy lifestyle without overindulgence and obsession, which will surely generate better mental and physical health day by day than ever; thereby we build and gain more energy and ability to uplift functionality, productivity, independence in performing personal and occupational daily chores and tasks including sex.
  4. Why and how may and will the actions ( as in 3. – the above) affect our life? Because that is the only way to generate and preserve enough energy and ability to perform any tasks we need in life. Likewise, adequate sex performance requires adequate energy and ability surely and only resulting from healthy lifestyle without overindulgence and obsession-not from magic pills or supplements alone, which at best give a brief boost but only at the time when our bodies still retain reasonable functional reserve and margin.

Based on the above, you should gain more insight on when, where, how, and with whom to regulate the passion and practice in delivering your sexual behaviors – sexuality, which your mental and physical energy and ability can afford.

So, more or less, at the age of 20-30 years, you may and can have sex 3-7 times; at 60-70s, 1-2 times per week; between 30-60 years old, 1-4 times.

In the end, you and your partners are the ultimate ones to decide what may fit your personal health and interpersonal scenario.


Two Important Noticeable Features of Sex

The first one – the need for mental and physical energy and ability plus time:

Healthy lifestyle concept with food in heart and sports fitness accessories Royalty Free Stock ImageHealthy lifestyle - Running fitness couple jogging Stock Photos

It is to realize, understand, and accept that the course of sexual intercourse is a process of very heavy mental and physical drainage. In order to have an optimal performance, you have to make yourself at your optimal mental and physical state by practicing the following:

1. Always practice quality healthy lifestyle without overindulgence and obsession. Why? Because this is the core foundation of all medical care, which is the surest way to naturally heighten and maximize the reserve of personal energy and ability for performance.

2. Initiate and engage in sex only after an optimal mental and physical rest and recovery. As common sense tells us, the time to have the best possible output in performing personal or occupational tasks is after having a good sleep and rest with full mental and physical recovery. So, you should do the same ways for sexual performance since, in nature, it is a process of very heavy mental and physical drainage. It requires having enough energy and ability in storage to drain.

However, there is a clear difference between daily living and sexual activity. It lies in the fact that the mental and physical drainage for a daily living takes place in a span of few hours. But sexual activity will consume and drain your stored energy and ability in just a few minutes.

3. If needing to take erection-enhancing drugs like one of PDE-5 inhibitors like Viagra or Levitra or Cialis, take it at its recommended timing and dose according to the instructions of the company and doctors. For example, take Viagra – sildenafil – some 30-45 minutes before attempting to have intercourse while the stomach is at least half empty.

Why? Such detailed use timing gives the body a better degree and timing to reach optimal absorption and blood level so to help the penis function better if the personal overall functional reserve for erection is still reasonable.

In sum, overindulgence and obsession take their toll in many people’s lives as described, in time, resulting in lacking sufficient energy and ability to be functional, productive, and independent. Consequently, their livelihood could be affected, and additional stress mounts due to becoming more dysfunctional, less productive, and more dependent. Together, these disable us to maintain the used-to-be intense relationship.  Naturally, performance crumbles to affect sex life, and you have to seek assistance and counseling as what you are reading now.

The second one – the adverse effects of social distraction and diversion:

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On top of the above, modern ways of living have played a significant role in our life.

Partaking in countless social media and commercial activities consume and depleted our ability to maintain our focus on what we should do so to keep up the demand for energy and ability for making a living and sustaining the romance which is the prelude of sexual relationship. In other words, a high maintenance of living consumes more the limited capital of life.

Before going into monogamy consensual relationship, most of the couples take the activities of courtship as the focus and priority of their life, but which would inevitably change after walking into their long wished 1-to-1 relationship.

For illustrating why and how the sexual intercourse is a game of two consensual persons, I would like to use the scenario of two musicians playing duet piano as an analogy. In order to earn bravo from the audience, these two have to learn and know when and how to play slow or fast or soft or hard besides being educated and becoming familiar with what the music and the melody are. Likewise, the same concept and practice of playing piano may be applied to the course of having sex – sexual intercourse, if the outcome of intercourse can achieve the level of drawing the bravo of the audience, namely, from both partners, as clearly detailed in Perfect Sex for men & for the women who love them.


The Surest Tips to Ease the Hunger for Sex

As what you might already sift out what you should do so to assure you have an adequate allocation of the personal limited capital of life (spiritual and physical value, ability, and capacity + 24/7/365), as entailed on page 41 of “What is LIfe? To Live a Controlled, Realistic, Happy Life“.

Here I summed up some tips for you to ease the hunger for sex in the most practically realistic ways as follows:

  1. assure having enough energy and ability + time (24/7/365) to effectively sustain the daily livelihood and romance of perfect sex;
  2. practice high-quality healthy lifestyle without overindulgence and obsession so to gain and secure the surely needed energy and ability to be functional, productive, independent, and less burdensome.
  3. reallocate the limited capital of life, that is, personal unique spiritual and physical energy and ability + time – 24/7/365, by understanding what kinds of activities are essential or optional for life as detailed in “What is Life?…“.
  4. realize that sex is not essential for living a long happy life at older age especially at the time with multiple health medical issues kicking in. At the young age, sex is essential so we can make natural babies; in the twilight years of life, sex is becoming more and more optional and even unnecessary.

With the above in place for your disposal, you can brighten the outlook of your sex life indefinitely along the path of life.


Final Note

Do not let political correctness and commercialism rein and ruin our lives. Many people have unknowingly fallen victim to the constant media bombardment to misbelieve we can have sex all day long disregarding our age as long as taking drugs like Viagra, Levitra, or Cialis as described.

To assert my point of views on how often we should have sex, view the video in

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Here comes my best wish for you to live an active, vibrant, long, happy life.

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